Surrogates are incredible people who are willing to give a selfless gift to parents who could not otherwise create a family on their own. Many surrogates, however, worry about forming a relationship with the Intended Parents. They worry about what the IPs will be like and how to ensure that the relationship will be comfortable for everyone involved. We have some helpful tips for Surrogates that will put you at ease and help make sure that your journey is a stress-free one.
Consult Your Surrogacy Agency
One of the key responsibilities of a surrogacy agency is ensuring that a successful match is made between a Surrogate and Intended Parent(s). At GSHC Surrogacy Agency, we spend a considerable amount of time getting to know our IPs and our Surrogates to find out what they are hoping to get out of this experience. It’s just as important that the Surrogate feels at ease with the expectations of this experience as the Intended Parents do.
Once we have an accurate assessment of your goals and expectations, we will compare what you’re looking for and your personality to all the Intended Parents who would love to have your help. We want this relationship to be special and successful as well so we take good care in making connections that we feel will be fruitful from the start. By making the very best matches possible, and giving you time to meet and decide for yourself, your relationship with the Intended Parents will already be off to a great start.
You can read more about how you can ensure a successful match meeting.
Talk to the Intended Parents
It’s perfectly fine to be open and honest with your IPs about your hopes and wishes for surrogacy. You will all be together for this journey for a considerable amount of time so it’s crucial that expectations, intentions, and feelings are openly explored early on so no surprises pop up down the road. It’s also important to listen to them with an open heart and open mind, so you can discuss the issues that matter most.
Surrogates are wonderfully compassionate individuals. Since you have chosen to become a Surrogate, it’s reasonable to say that you have some understanding of the fertility struggles that others experience before they seek out a surrogacy agency. If these parents could give birth to their own babies, they would do so. They may have feelings of powerlessness or even jealousy because you are able to carry a child when they can’t. It can be common for Intended Parents to want to keep some distance between themselves and the Surrogate because it may be too difficult a reminder of their own infertility. Other IPs may want to be involved in every step along the way. If you can genuinely put yourself in their shoes, and you follow what’s in your heart, you can’t go wrong.
Let Go of Expectations
Your relationship with the Intended Parents will be as unique as each of you are. No relationship between a Surrogate and IPs will be exactly the same because it’s formed by who you are as individuals. At GSHC we have seen Surrogate/IP relationships extend beyond the birth of the child. This is due to common interests and a general agreement to the definition of the relationship post-birth. However, this is not the rule. The key thing is that you and the Intended Parents are completely comfortable with one another and the agreement between you as you embark on this beautiful journey together.
To start your journey as a Surrogate with GSHC Surrogacy Agency, please complete our Surrogate Intake Form.