What is a Match Meeting?
One of the very first steps in the surrogacy process is meeting the woman who will ultimately carry your child for the duration of the pregnancy. It’s important that you feel comfortable with your Surrogate as this relationship will last 10-12 months (and hopefully longer!). We here at GSHC Surrogacy Agency strive to introduce our Intended Parents to their prospective Surrogate as early as possible. We coordinate a video conference call between all parties so that everyone has the opportunity to see each other and get a sense of each other’s personality. Think of it like a first date. You want to make a good first impression and line things up for a second date. But you also don’t want to overwhelm each other or leave a bad impression. To avoid these instances, we have some tips to help.
What Topic is/isn’t Off-Limits?
As the Intended Parents, you probably want to know everything there is to know about your potential Surrogate’s birth history and medical past. We don’t blame you. This is a long journey and a lot of trust is required, on both sides. But think of it from the Surrogate’s point of view. Is she going to want to work with a couple who are so fixated on her medical history that they forget to see her as a person? Probably not. No one wants to be viewed as a commodity or an asset. Therefore, it’s important that you understand what questions may or may not be off-limits in the Match Meeting.
GSHC Surrogacy Agency works with you to develop your questions ahead of time. The advantages are twofold: First, it includes the agency in the loop so that we are aware of your concerns and can help address them. Second, it allows the agency to act as a mediator between the Intended Parents and the Surrogate so that we can be responsible for the more sensitive questions while you maintain the relationship. We may have the answers to your questions already. Remember, the agency is on your side too. Allow your agency representative to guide you. You have every right to ask questions. Your agency can assist you with when and how you receive your answers.
How Long Should the Match Meeting Last?
The first Match Meeting should be short and sweet. We cap our initial meetings at around 30 minutes. That’s plenty of time for small talk, get-to-know-you’s, and important questions. Going back to the first date analogy, it’s best to leave a good first impression and then regroup for future meetings. You will have the opportunity to meet your Surrogate again. We’ve found that the first Match Meeting is about establishing trust and the foundations of the relationship. Subsequent meetings can then focus on specifics once that groundwork has been laid.
How Awkward Will the First Meeting Be?
A Match Meeting can feel a little awkward, we’re not going to lie. After all, this is a very special arrangement you are entering into together. Remember, this is not your only opportunity to meet with your potential Surrogate. Lean into the awkwardness and focus on establishing a good rapport with each other.
The connection you make in the Match Meeting will be the connection you share long after the transfer, pregnancy, and delivery.
After the hormone shots, pregnancy updates, and emotional hand-off, the connection with your Surrogate is what will remain. The relationship that you choose to maintain (or not) will be built upon what was established in that first meeting. Be sure to start on the best foot possible.
You are about to embark on a miraculous journey with your Surrogate. The connection between you is magical. Trust in the Match Meeting process to reveal that connection.
To begin your journey as an Intended Parent with GSHC Surrogacy Agency, please complete our Intended Parent Intake Form.