Hearing the news that an embryo transfer was unsuccessful can be an emotional experience for a surrogate. While IVF procedures and technologies continue to evolve, it’s still not a perfect science—with most surrogates having a 20-35% per-cycle success rate. 

Even in a best-case scenario, the success rate only reaches 40-65%. We understand that a failed embryo transfer can leave you feeling disappointed, sad, or even guilty, but knowing these statistics may help to relieve some of the pressure to get it perfect on the first try.

What are Some Reasons IVF Typically Fails?

It can be difficult to understand why the transfer failed when everything seemed to seamlessly fall into place. Many surrogates try to figure out “what they did wrong” and believe it was their fault that the IVF procedure didn’t work. This couldn’t be further from the truth. As long as you followed your doctor’s advice and took your medications, a failed transfer is typically not the result of anything you did or did not do.

Here are some common factors that may affect the success of embryo implantation:

• Embryo Health: Embryos can be weak, damaged, or unhealthy, making the implantation process more difficult or causing the growth process to stop too early. 
• The Egg’s Age: It’s natural for a woman’s egg quality to decline after the age of 35. So, embryos created from more mature eggs may have lower implantation rates as a result.
• Fertility Medication Response: Our bodies all respond differently to fertility medications. If the medications don’t produce enough viable eggs or sperm cells, there is less opportunity to form an embryo and a lower chance of a successful IVF transfer.

How to Cope When IVF Fails

Luckily, just because a transfer failed, it does NOT mean you’re disqualified from surrogacy. It helps to see it as a minor detour on your journey to helping your intended parents build their family. However, if you do experience an unsuccessful IVF transfer, here are a few things that can help you process and move through your emotions:

• Allow yourself the space to grieve: Your body has just undergone a lengthy medical process to get to this point and will do so again if there’s another cycle in your future. With all these fluctuating hormones, it’s common for a surrogate to feel sad or disappointed, which is why it is so imperative to take the time to grieve and know that It’s okay to feel all of the emotions that come up.
• Speak openly with your doctor or fertility specialist: Having a candid conversation may help you better understand why the transfer may have failed and put your mind at ease. Many surrogates tend to blame themselves, but a trained professional can give you more insight into other factors that could have contributed to the failed transfer.
• Practice self-care: Have compassion for yourself and indulge in the things you enjoy. It’s extremely important to nurture your body and soul after a difficult event. This could be an energizing exercise session or a long soak in a bubble bath–any way to reconnect with and appreciate yourself.
• Find a supportive surrogacy community: Many surrogates have gone through an IVF failure and can offer advice or a shoulder to cry on. If you are part of a surrogate support group, it could be beneficial to share. Your story might help another surrogate, too.
• Connect with your intended parents: Surrogates often wonder if their intended parents blame them for the failed transfer. More often than not, intended parents distance themselves because they are also grieving their loss with the understanding that their surrogate is not at fault. However, don’t be nervous to reach out with a heartfelt message and stay in touch with them before preparing for your next cycle.
• Confide in your case manager: Your GSHC Surrogacy Agency case manager is always in your corner. Our team has experienced nearly every circumstance that can occur during the IVF cycle and we’ll be by your side to help you recover — mentally and physically — after an IVF failure. 

Preparing for the Next Steps:

After you’ve allowed your mind and body to heal, it’s time to schedule a meeting with your fertility specialist to discuss your next steps. Most doctors recommend waiting a few months between transfers to make sure you’re both physically and mentally prepared to go through another IVF cycle. If you are working with an experienced agency, like GSHC, we will be there throughout the process to make sure you have a happy, healthy surrogacy journey, too.